"We need to reschedule your appointment with your new doctor and he's scheduling out until August," said the nurse with possibly the worst job ever that day because she had TONS of patients to reschedule (she told me so).
"WELL, I'm afraid that this is not an acceptable scenario for me. I was supposed to see my original doctor in weeks 6-8 of the elimination diet. I'm currently on week 7. Also, I got that letter that my new doctor is transferring fully to the functional medicine practice as of July 1, WHICH IS WHY I CALLED A WEEK AGO TO ENSURE I STILL HAD MY APPOINTMENT. This is terrible patient care, bordering on unethical. I've been told that I need to go on a really restrictive diet with monitoring by my doctor, but the monitoring isn't happening. Please give me another option before I just give up on you guys entirely and find another functional medicine practice that will take my insurance."
BOOM. I got my appointment moved by only two days with the PA in the office. And I made the appointment in August that they were offering, just in case.
I would like THAT to be a bigger aspect of my personality, please.
I get jerked around a lot. It's part of the nature of my job (people want me to see the best sides of themselves, and I to believe what they're telling me, whether it's grounded in reality or not - who am I to say that someone is lying to me?), but it's also part of my nature as a person. People push me around a lot to get what they want and I just give in, in the interest of preserving the relationship. Ironically, that's not what happens, though - I just become resentful of the people who push me around and I don't say anything, and then I just don't want to be around them, and then I blow shit up when it's too late and I feel like I have no other options. It's my way of having control, I suppose, because then I get to decide when enough is enough, not the other person. In all reality, I have this control all the time - no one gets to dictate my experience or my feelings in any way, but I never feel that way until it's time to break a few eggs, y'know?
What's funny is that I can usually do it when it comes to professional stuff. For instance, I was borderline stalking the administrative assistant of the licensure board because I had to switch supervisors, there was a problem with my paperwork that I didn't catch, so it didn't get approved. I had to be SO FAR up this woman's ass that the last time we spoke, she hung up on me. There were a few things she had to do that she hadn't, and I had been waiting literally a month and a half to get my approval paperwork, AND every time we spoke on the phone (which was daily at one point), she acted like she had no idea who I was. Also, if something unacceptable is happening at work (on the administrative side of things), I have NO PROBLEM speaking up, even to people pretty far above me. I'm pretty outspoken. I'm also pretty outspoken with my clients. I have NO PROBLEM naming it if something is going on.
But not in my personal life.
I'm getting better, but I'm nowhere near there yet. I think when it's personal, it's just harder. At work, I'm able to take the personal entirely out of it for the first time ever in my whole working life. It used to be that if someone treated me badly or something happened that I didn't like or I wasn't listened to, I would take it SUPER personally. I don't do that anymore. In my personal life, though, some of those same patterns that don't usually bother me show through and I go THROUGH THE ROOF.
Inside.
No one, save for my husband probably, knows it.
This is something that I'm working on, but it has taken time and will continue to.
In other news, I started over on the Couch to 5k, and the first day was great. I'm running inside right now because my allergies go haywire around this time of the year (and get 10 times worse when it's muggy), but I'll give it another month and see how it goes, maybe start outside. I signed up for a color run in August, and I'm super excited about it.
Also, soy is a no. I waited the requisite three days, and I'm going to reincorporate corn today. I'm excited about this because now I can eat GF bread without worrying about its ingredients. I'll have to check for dairy ingredients (sometimes GF bread has carageenan in it, which is a dairy-based ingredient), but I think I'm on the right track. I also had dairy-free, soy free, gluten free pizza last night, and it was ok. Yeah, just ok. The cheeze (as they called it on the box! SNORT!) didn't melt, and that was strange to me. If it's gonna be cheese, it's gonna have to melt. Though, I did save a piece because I couldn't eat the whole thing, and it is TASTY the next day.
I incorporate dairy on the 30th. I CAN'T WAIT.
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