Sometimes, it's tough when you transition into a new role to see the impact that it has on others, and to remember that not only do they have to adjust, you have to allow for your own adjustment time, too. It's been harder than I've been allowing myself to admit, and today, I finally was able to say that out loud to someone. My sign from the Universe finally came. I had also been doing this strange thing that allowed me to keep more distance from this transition, which was looking at it as my predecessor's old position instead of my new role. I think it has insulated me from the weight of what's about to happen to me and my relationship with every person I work with, because it's going to be painful (if I'm being truthful, it already is), and as a human, I tend to shy away from that.
Yeah, I'm totally at the "I'm still excited, but also I don't entirely like this" phase. It's not a great place, but better than where I was mentally because it's more real. Also, it does not help that I am in this weirdo gray area for what feels like too long (who am I kidding? Any amount of time is too long for my general tolerance level), just waiting for July. Practicing appropriate closure. Wrapping things up but also ramping things up on the other end. Ugh.
Also, on an unrelated note (or maybe not so unrelated even though I've been thinking about it for a while), I'm going back to therapy after taking about seven months off. It's time, and has been for a really long time.
I will weather this transition, as will those around me - I am entirely confident in this. It just won't be entirely smooth, and that's ok. It will be what it is, and while it's super hard sometimes, I just have to let it be that.
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