The Biggest Benefit of Online Yoga and Yelling

Let me tell you, friends. I am SO happy that I have started yoga again. I am also very happy that I'm doing half online and half in person every week, and let me tell you why: The in-person classes are a true exercise in impulse control. I make this more meaningful because in the online classes, my screen is off and I'm muted, so I swear at that teacher like a sailor. I yell at them sometimes and it is SO CATHARTIC I CAN'T EVEN. I can't do that in in-person classes (I'm not one for talking all that much while I'm trying to do yoga - it's hard enough without conversation), and so I have to really be mindful of what comes out of my mouth. I did let an f-word slip a week or so ago in an in-studio class and the instructor laughed pretty hard, but they were making me do a side plank and SIDE PLANK IS THE DEVIL.

This is side plank. I don't actually look anything like this when I'm doing it because I'm still so clumsy.

Today, I took a core yoga class. It's murderously hard, but I never fail to feel better afterward. (It also helps that I wasn't having a massive reaction to red meat this time, so I was actually able to participate without nearly barfing.) I really like the teacher, and unexpectedly, he had us go to side plank from down dog. Terrible. That was when I started swearing. Then, shockingly, I yelled - "YOU CAN'T JUST TELL US TO DO A SIDE PLANK WITH NO WARNING! WHO DOES THAT? WHAT ARE YOU - A F&#CKING SADIST? YOU ARE THE WORST. AND FROM DOWN DOG OF ALL POSITIONS. YOU SUCK."

Luckily I was muted and I didn't have video on. I still have yet to do a successful side plank, but I'm getting there. I was actually able to take my knees off of the floor for a couple of seconds each side, so that ain't nothing.

I'm getting stronger every time I do a class, and I'm finding that the more accepting of myself and present that I am in these classes, the more accepting I am of myself in general, which feels really nice. I desperately needed some time to just...put everything away, and now three to five times a week for an hour or so, I do just that. I'm more productive, I feel more effective, and I just...feel better.

I'm also more tolerant of my asshole dogs who decide, without fail, that while I'm in yoga is the perfect time to wrestle. I've learned to tune it out, so that's also nice. Also, I'm taking the good with the bad, because they've started cuddling and it's basically the cutest thing ever.

Also, Miles loves yoga mats and Ruby loves peeing on yoga mats, so I've found myself being more careful about things. She also loves chewing yoga blocks and does the best up dog I've ever seen in my whole life. I'm jealous of her form.

He's ready for yoga class to start now, please. He also uses certain positions when he takes the opportunity to unabashedly lick my face or the bottoms of my feet because he's super helpful and hilarious.

 

Another funny thing that has happened is that I changed my profile picture on Zoom to my bitmoji, and I forgot that I did that and now it's my picture for yoga class. I went to sign up for the 20% off deal that they have once the one-month membership is up, and the person that I emailed with about it was like "Your Zoom picture makes me smile every time!"

So, self-care is going great, currently. I've got some things coming down the pike that may make the wheels fall off the wagon, but I'm already seeing how temporary it is because the semester ends in four weeks, so I'll have every Thursday off starting in early December through the end of January, and no, I'm absolutely not filling that time, even in the short-term. I am STOKED.