Burnt.
Toasty.
That’s a selfie I took earlier.
Anywho, how do I know that I’m crispy? Really, how does anyone know?
That’s a good question. For some, it’s dark humor. I can always take that off the list, because it’s just my general sense of humor. Some people become short-tempered, but mine goes beyond that. The great thing about counselor education is that they teach you to tune into yourself and figure out what burnout looks like. You almost become too self-aware, but it serves a purpose, which is to be able to tell when you’re getting burnt. The burnout rate in my profession is astronomical, especially in the environment in which I work. It’s just the nature of the beast, and burnout isn’t so much a thing to avoid, because it’s inevitable. The trick is to notice it when it happens and have the wherewithal to act, or have colleagues close enough to you that they will be able to tell and have the comfort level to point it out. This is important, because if you get burnt and don’t notice it or act, you can do quite a bit of damage. Every counselor has their own signs of burnout, and I’ve pinpointed several of mine:
My reserve of patience is and has been close to zero without any kind of replenishment for the last couple of weeks. Like, even my dog is annoying, and I never, ever get annoyed at my dog. He isn’t even doing anything different - he’s just being Miles. Also, I have urges to yell at people. Like, legit yell. Like, freak the fuck out, red faced, spittle flying everywhere kind of yelling. I’m also perpetually mad, even after a good day, without any kind of respite.
The thing is, if I’m going to get burnt, this is the time of year when it will happen. The holidays are coming and I hate them so my stress level is high, work is NUTS, and I’m just tired. Mix all that shit together, and it’s burnout city, population Ryan.
So, when I start to get crispy, I double down on the self-care. I knit more, I sleep more, and I give myself opportunities to rest. For instance, tomorrow I have an Invisalign appointment at 945, so I’m taking a half day and sleeping in, and then following my appointment up with some retail therapy before going into work. Also, I’m making my thanksgiving weekend as stress-free as possible and filling it with people that I know will nourish me and allow me to be myself. I also am intentionally eating better and making myself smoothies in the morning again and making sure I take my vitamins. I’m just WAY more intentional about everything that helps me to feel better. Also, increasing my therapy appointments helps, and most importantly, being honest with myself about it. Because I’m such a perfectionist, I have a hard time admitting to myself that I’m feeling burnt, but the grrrrreat thing about this new role of mine is that if I have to give others feedback about it, I damn well be pretty honed into my own tendencies.
Speaking of this new role, I’m starting to fit into it better. I am more decisive than I ever have been in any job, and I’m starting to feel more confident and competent.
Finally.
Ok. I’m going to go knit and drink tea and watch Gilmore girls like the self-care champ that I am.
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