Waiting is not my forte.

I know that the meeting happened that decided my licensure status happened on Friday.

I know that it takes time. The rational side of my brain is slapping me in the face right now and being like "COOL IT RYAN. THESE THINGS TAKE TIME."

The irrational side of my brain is battling it out currently. The thing is, one of my mentors from grad school is on the board. I know this. What I also know (rational brain speaking here) is that we are both ethical people. Could he call me and tell me what happened and what was decided? Of course he could. But he's ethical and he won't. Also, because I'm ethical, I would never put him in the position to have to answer if I asked, and I would never, ever even think of exploiting our relationship in that way.

Do I wish that he and I could just both set aside our ethics for one effing second and he would just TELL ME WHAT WAS DECIDED, DAMN IT? Of course I do. But I don't get special privileges just because I know someone on the board, no matter how well I may know them. I have to wait just like everyone else.

Juuuuuuuust like everyone else.

I wonder if anyone else's anxiety level is this high over what everyone is trying to convince me is basically a done deal. In all reality, I'm likely going to be licensed. It's just a matter of getting the letter, writing the check, and getting my license and paperwork to hang in my office.

But the thing is, it's not a done deal. People get denied licensure all the time for reasons that seem weird and entirely out of their control. So, as encouraging as people are trying to be, it's not working. I just need the damn letter, and then I will be a bearable person to be around.

In other news, to bide my time, I tried a new gluten free brownie mix this weekend. King Arthur Flour makes it, and the reason I decided to try it was because I went to a local cafe the other day and had some blueberry bread that didn't taste at all like it was gluten free, but it WAS. I asked them for the recipe (literally, I went up to the counter and said, "What is the sorcery behind you guys being able to make this gluten free without tasting like it?"), and they told me that it was all King Arthur Flour mix. They gushed about it, even.

The brownies TOTALLY lived up to the hype. They weren't grainy, they were soft, they didn't break apart in my hands, it was MAGIC. The entire pan is gone. Rob liked them too. I find it encouraging that people are getting better at gluten-free. I also found a GRRRRRRRREAT recipe this weekend for gluten-free beef stew, so I threw a bunch of shit in the slow cooker and it's ready to eat today. I can't wait to try it.

Also, I'm currently sitting at home waiting for an electrician to come to my house, and I think the awesomeness of the brownies made it happen (being that taking them out of the oven was the first time that it happened), but the stove keeps tripping the circuit breaker. Like, three or four times just yesterday. It just happened out of the blue. Also, our furnace needs repair (to prevent carbon monoxide poisoning, so it's not like it's a small deal), so this is going to be an expensive week house-wise. We've been lucky up to this point except when our water heater started having some shenanigans right after we moved in, but it's been right as rain ever since and we've had NO trouble with anything else. So, we're due, I guess one could argue.

So, I continue to wait.

And continue to press the "licensee lookup" button and type in my name on the website for the board.

Compulsively.