Well, the holidays are finally done.
During that time, I found out that I don't actually have celiac. The test came back absolutely, without a doubt, negative. I was at a training when my results came in, and it was about 10 minutes before lunch, and so you know what I did? I had a huge sandwich with regular bread. I stuffed my face with so much pasta salad that I didn't even know what to do with myself. I was also left with the question, though: If it's not celiac, what the hell is it? Guess we're going to find out when low-FODMAPS starts.
Quite possibly the worst time of year to make the transition to any new diet is the holidays. So, in early December, when my doctor said to switch to low-FODMAPS, I was like "Ok. So early January, then." She laughed and was like "Yeah, that sounds about right."
Cool. Glad we're on the same page about this, doc. That being said, I did make some changes this year that I think will make this transition easier. Anyone who knows how much I love candy canes will be flabbergasted by this.
I had one miniature candy cane on New Year's Eve and that was the grand total of candy canes that I had all season. UNBELIEVABLE. There is not a single candy cane in my house right now. I'm usually eating them until at least March.
I was determined not to switch to low-FODMAPS on January 1. I'm not sure how my deep-seated hatred of New Year's resolutions came about, but it exists and I will not apologize for it. I will not ever make any changes, ever, on January 1. I simply outright refuse.
I allowed myself the space to eat as much gluten as possible during the holidays, knowing that I had to go back to being gluten-free for this diet. Did I make up for the five and a half years that I didn't eat it? No. But I did have a cookie party, lots of lasagna, and bagels every damn day. Also an entire bottle of lactaid pills in two weeks. That's how much dairy I ate. I now know unequivocally that dairy is a problem. There are lots of alternatives, so I'm going to try out every single one that I can. (Actively looking for dairy-free cheese that doesn't taste like shards of cardboard. No luck yet.)
January 2, there we went. I made my coffee with FODMAPS-friendly creamer, put in a lil maple syrup, grabbed my low-FODMAPS freezer meals, and off to work I went. I had this blueberry-almond-rice porridge and it was pretty fantastic. Then I had this disgusting maple chicken for lunch (which looked so promising in its packaging! I was so disappointed!), and then I had this pot roast stuff for dinner.
Frozen meal deliveries are how I'm going to get through the majority of the first week or two of this, because I am still trying to figure out what I'm doing. I've figured out the cereals I can eat, I've figured out that there's a brand of food specifically for low-FODMAPS peeps, and so I'm going for it. I tried their marinara yesterday and while I appreciate the effort, marinara sauce without onions and garlic is an abomination. It was disgusting. I'll finish it and I'm sure I'll get used to eating without onions or garlic, and this is only temporary, but still.
The big winner yesterday was the overnight oats. Now that I can eat oatmeal again, I'm diving in head first to all of it. I've figured out some important stuff about what I can and can't eat, so I feel ready.
After doing a little low-FODMAPS last week, just to dip my feet in, and something interesting happened.
I lost an entire pant size in two days. I literally went from my pants being snug to being able to pull them off without unbuttoning them. Apparently, yes, inflammation from IBS CAN be that bad. I'm very interested to see what will happen over the next couple of weeks. My gut is...very mad. It'll get better and I'm told this is part of beginning low-FODMAPS, but man. I'd like to get through this part as quickly as possible, please and thank you.
The most important thing, though? My shit is -back together-. I've had a little brain fog when I eat something I shouldn't, but other than that, it's GONE. I can figure things out. I can remember stuff. I can actually do the things I need to do without becoming overwhelmed. This is the most functional I've been cognitively in years.
I'm trying hard not to be angry about this because I've been really struggling with the brain fog part since my surgeries. If someone had just told me "Hey, it's probably food intolerances, let's do low-FODMAPS and see what happens", I would 100% have been on board. I also know that trauma of any kind, which includes medical trauma, can trigger or exacerbate IBS. I think what happened was that my gut was already simmering in 2021 and had been for literal decades. Add medical procedures and bodily trauma, no change in diet, and BAM. My gut had the temper tantrums to end all temper tantrums.
I'm sure the anger will dissipate once I've discovered what my triggers are and start to consistently feel better. It's already starting to happen. Just having answers is comforting, even if it means big changes. I am also feeling less anxious in general, so I think this is actually going to be a game-changer for both my physical and mental health. I talk about basic self-care with my clients all the time, and this is part of it. I'm pretty excited.
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