Knitting it Out

Soooo, the two week mark. I'm having a full hysterectomy in two weeks.

It feels better to say it out loud.

We did some preparatory shopping yesterday (followed by more list making) and I started looking at message boards on Reddit from people who have been through it and also from people who've had Lynch Syndrome and been through it.

I'm not sure if it helped or not, but it definitely gave me more of an idea of what to expect. All I know for sure at this point is that the nerves are starting to set in. I know that's natural, as it would be with any major surgery. I've also already called the surgical nurse a couple of times with questions (which she wholeheartedly encourages, so I'm limiting myself to making a list and calling one more time per week before the surgery if I need it). I'm not freaking out, not yet, but I'm anticipating it. So, I did what I always do when I start to feel a surge in my anxiety about something big.

I went to Michael's.

I bought myself some rainbow yarn and some new knitting needles, and I'm going to knit it out. It always helps, without fail. Could I work on my star blanket? Yup, but crocheting doesn't help me like knitting does. I'm not sure why, but it does.

I think what happens is that knitting, because I don't have to count my stitches, helps me work stuff out. And, I've got a lot of stuff to work out. Like the fact that I'm going to be in there by myself and Rob isn't even allowed to go in with me, and how I'm actually kind of relieved about it because pre-op is a lengthy process. About what I should pack. About where I'm going to set myself up for a couple of weeks while I'm recovering. About what if they keep me overnight unexpectedly. About when I'm going to go back to work, and what that's going to look like. About what I'm going to do with all of that time where I won't be able to do anything except sit my ass on the couch. About what I'm going to watch/sleep through during that time. About when I can start walking around. About how I'm going to feed myself or what I'll need for that after the surgery, given that it's incredibly common to not want to eat for a couple of days afterward. About how my bodily functions are going to get back to normal and how long it will take. About whether or not I'll have to have a catheter and what that's going to be like. ABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO DO ABOUT NEVER HAVING TO WALK DOWN THE FEMININE PRODUCTS AISLE EVER AGAIN IN MY WHOLE LIFE. (I may just dance down them one more time for shits and giggles once this is all done.) About what I'm going to eat after surgery because it's very likely that I won't be able to eat anything that they have to offer me, which is how it was after my endocolonoscopy as well (they said I could bring light snacks if I want). About what I'm going to bring with me for food so that I can eat if I need to. About what time I have to be there. About whether or not Rob is going to be able to work that day. About how I'm going to keep my 8-month-old-hell-on-wheels puppy from jumping all over me. About how I'm going to be able to sit up while my abdominal muscles are healing. About hormone therapy and what that's going to look like and whether my doctor is going to start me on it right away or if he's going to wait (from everything I've heard, I'm hoping he's going to start me on it right away).

That's just the stuff off the top of my head. There's more in there - I'm certainly counting on that.

But for now, I just knit.

At this rate, I'll have a whole hat done by tomorrow even though I'm using pretty small needles. :) I'll get this all figured out - the only trick is to not over-think it. I'll just be so relieved to have it finished.

The Miracle that is Prilosec

Friends, I've had a chronic cough since my teens, and on-and-off shortness of breath for almost as long. So, we're talking decades. A long time. I chalked it up to allergies, and so did my doctors without so much as a "let's see if this is something else" until I was 24 when I had a REALLY REALLY REALLY bad reaction to peanuts that landed me in the emergency room. It wasn't the throat-closing-omg-I'm-dying reaction - it was sharp pains in my stomach that were so bad I could barely even move enough to get myself to the emergency room. At that point, my PCP at the time ordered an Upper GI, which I did, and it indicated that I "might have some reflux", and nothing more was spoken of it other than "stay away from honey roasted peanuts."

Solid plan, doc.

I had my first colonoscopy a few weeks ago. They also wanted to do an endoscopy to "check for celiac" (spoiler alert: it was positive) because my blood tests a couple of years ago indicated that I had it. Through that endoscopy, they saw inflammation in my esophagus and my stomach. In other words: GERD. The doctor put me on Prilosec (and I promptly switched my gastrointestinal care over to her permanently since I'm going to have to go through this every 1-2 years and I loved her straightforwardness and the having of solid plans immediately that I can stick to. SHE IS AMAZING.).

Within three days, the cough that had plagued me for literally decades was gone. Just...vanished. Like, I didn't know what to do with all that time that was no longer spent coughing and clearing my throat. It was NOTICEABLE. People pointed it out, that kind of noticeable.

I haven't been so compliant with it over the past few days. Part of it was negligence, sure, but I was also curious about what would happen.

Shortness of breath and that cough returning full force is what effing happened. My esophagus is so inflamed that it's keeping me from drawing in a full breath.

I am floored. I took it this morning and the cough that kept me up half the night last night was gone within an hour. UNBELIEVABLE.

I also started seeing a dermatologist to finally get rid of this rosacea that has been plaguing me since, well, my 20s. (This is an ongoing pattern and why I make the sweeping generalization that doctors are human turds in coats.) 

I figure why not, since I'm getting a whole bunch of other medical stuff addressed, why not just go all the way and address it all, right? I reached the point where I'm finally tired of my medical needs not being met and I'm going to speak up for myself, and my goodness, it's working. FINALLY.

ANYWAY.

Again, I brought it up to my PCP at the time that it started happening, she threw me some face gel, and we never spoke of it again even when I tried to bring up that it wasn't working. I now have a special face wash, all of the face creams, and another one coming. My face is already starting to heal and it has only been four days.

Let me tell you, friends. I finally found a good PCP that actually listens. I didn't think that existed, but there she is.

I'm hoping that I'll have all of my medical stuff wrapped up and be on an even keel by June. I have my next thyroid appointment in March, as well as my first appointment with my new gastro, and then I am having the hysterectomy March 15. Even if I have to have thyroid surgery, it's going to be a cakewalk. I'm also choosing to look at the first half of 2021 as "that funny time where I visited doctors 1-3 times a week for a while" and let it be a Comical Thing that Happened on the road to being as healthy as I can be.

And let me tell you, as soon as I have this hysterectomy done, LOOK OUT WORLD. RYAN'S BECOMING AN ATHLETE. It's happening. It is decided.