Sigh. Eff you too, cheese.

Awesome Doctor told me that as I reincorporate, I might get delayed reactions. I didn’t really take her seriously because if I’ve ever had a reaction, it has been quick.

Until I tried reincorporating cheese this time around.

The first day, I felt great. I was STOKED. So I continued to stuff my face with shredded cheddar, specifically. (I’m trying them all. It both prolongs the process of cutting out cheese and allows me to figure out what kinds I might be intolerant to.)

Then day two happened. I woke up this morning feeling a little wonky. Then I felt wonkier throughout the day. Allergies have returned, I have a headache, and I’m having all kinds of weird stomach pains.

Womp womp.

So, for anyone keeping count:

No eggs.

No cheddar.

No gluten, including gluten-free oats.

No sesame seeds.

I actually had thoughts of stopping the reincorporation altogether because it’s clear what’s happening - there were no false positives on this test, and I’m not super interested in continuing this game of chicken and risk feeling like shit several days in a row just to see what I can reincorporate because that answer is becoming clearer and clearer - nothing.

Also, I’m grumpy apparently.

If I can’t ever have butter again, I’m going to rain down hellfire.

HELL.

FIRE.

This is probably more accurate.

I see you, eggs.

Reincorporation started on Wednesday. Like last time, I reincorporated eggs first. Reincorporation is different this time because instead of eating one serving of whatever's coming back in at a time and checking for a reaction, I am to stuff my face with that food for two days and really try to elicit a reaction. I’m basically playing chicken with my immune system, which isn't in itself great, but it's better than just stuffing my face with all of these foods all the time and constantly having a reaction without realizing that's what's happening.

It’s harder than last time because I’m not sure I can stuff my face with anything at this point, but here I go. (Literally. I eat about half of what I used to in a single sitting. A single, normal-sized apple? Totally satisfying. I love apples the size of my head, but I can't eat that much food anymore in one sitting. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.) I also have to log my reactions - according to my doctor, if anything changes in how I feel, I have to track it. If my symptoms increase, I am to cut it out until I stop having a reaction (which can take up to a week) and then stuff my face with another currently banned food, and the foods that I have a reaction to stay on the banned list permanently.

My body's reaction when I started to reincorporate eggs:

I felt like total shit the entire two days that I was reincorporating, and the candibactin protocol was even less tolerable than it already is. I had a reaction the first day, and I was all, "NOPE. I AM FORGING AHEAD FOR THE FULL TWO DAYS." It was difficult. It appears that my relationship with eggs is no more, friends. It'll take me a couple of days to recover, then I'm going to try mushrooms.

Womp womp.

Moreover, I found out that I have very mild celiac. BUT NOT (entirely) BECAUSE OF GLUTEN. Because of gliadin, which is basically found in everything that has gluten. I was like one number under the Holy Line of Demarcation for gluten, though, so it’s on the banned list. Also, I can't effing eat oatmeal anymore because of this - not even the gluten-free kind, because all oats have gliadin in them, even the ones that are gluten-free. WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK.

Also, I had a full neuropsychological battery on Wednesday. It was four hours long and pretty freaking exhausting.

Wednesday was a pretty intense day, y’all!

What came out of it is BIG executive functioning trubs. This makes a lot of sense in my personal life, but the question I can’t seem to get out of my mind is this: why isn’t it an issue at work? I can plan, I notice a lot, I’m not as rigid at all because I can't be rigid and do my job at the same time - it's not possible. I mean, I struggle if things are really noisy around me or if I get interrupted constantly, but who doesn’t? On paper at work, I have FANTASTIC executive functioning. But when I leave, my car is littered with Tupperware that I don’t bring in, my house is a mess and I can’t seem to keep on top of, and my schoolwork is a struggle because of that. All signs point to it.

I get the full feedback in mid-June. Until then, I wait.

In better news, I stopped taking my allergy meds because I wasn't noticing a difference anymore. Still no difference. So, my allergies are going away and that's fantastic, because the last time I went through something like this, my allergies nearly knocked me over and left me bedridden every single day and there was nothing I could do about it. It's also my most difficult season right now, and still nothing. I'm pretty freaking stoked about it.

Let Me Be a Cautionary Tale.

TAKE.CARE.OF.YOUR.GUT. If you feel gross, don't just start taking a probiotic. Go to your doctor. Get tested for gut-related things. Get it fixed when you're starting to have a problem - don't just ignore it and know that you'll die of something eventually and then it won't be a problem anymore. (Yes, that was legitimately my mindset for a bit there. Dark? Yes. Accurate? Also yes.)

Over the past two weeks, I have drastically changed my diet to cut out eggs, gluten, cane sugar, almonds, blueberries, mushrooms, sesame seeds (that's right, no hummus) and dairy because I found out I was intolerant to all of these things. (This on top of not being able to eat soy because the phytoestrogens will mess with my already dysfunctional thyroid. Yeah. I can basically eat lettuce.)

It has been incredibly difficult, but that's not the most difficult part of this whole thing.

The most difficult part is the gut protocol. It's called Candibactin (there's an AR and a BR, and I have to take them both twice a day). What it does is it goes through your gut and promotes the die-off process of bad bacteria and bad fungus that might be in your gut (I'm looking at you, leftover C.Diff, which is apparently a thing that can happen that was a special surprise, and also Candida). Combined with the diet, it also promotes the growth of healthy bacteria so that your gut can heal, especially when you take it with a probiotic (which I am. The fancy kind that needs to be refrigerated, even.)

It should also be noted that I recently got tested for celiac. I will know the results in a couple of weeks, and I think it is going to turn out positive for a couple of reasons. More on that in a minute.

When I tell you that the Candibactin protocol has turned my whole gut upside down (metaphorically, but certainly feels like literally most of the time), I'm not kidding around. The only comparison that I have is when I was going through C.Diff treatment, but not quite as bad as that. There are all kinds of weird side effects, and I'm not even at the full dosage for another week. My body is in full on revolt mode, and it is...we'll say less than pleasant. On top of that, in order to help facilitate the detoxification process, I have to drink three liters of water a day. Not a typo.

When my doctor gave me the laundry list of side effects of the die-off process, I got a little nervous. But then she said that I could take activated charcoal (which, spoiler alert and TMI: It turns your shit black) and it should alleviate most of the side effects.

It doesn't. I have taken it every day this week and nothing has been happening to help -whatsoever-.

Why am I telling you this?

Because if you eat like shit, this or something similar might be your fate. If I had just kept taking care of my gut after I did the elimination diet and been more mindful of the reactions that I know I was having to eggs and other things as I reincorporated, I wouldn't be having this problem right now. Or maybe I would, but maybe it wouldn't have gotten this bad, and I wasn't, overall, what I would consider a terrible eater before this. I ate breakfast every day, I had salads every day for lunch, I had sensible dinners during the week, so even if I did eat things like grilled cheese stuffed with macaroni and cheese on the weekends, I wasn't, like, overly terrible 100% of the time. I actually was not eating that far off of when I did Weight Watchers that time and lost 55 pounds. Legitimately! Except for the candy.

I miss sweet things.

Have I also mentioned that I haven't had anything sweet in two weeks? Not even honey in my tea. I've been really strict.

Now, on to the good part.

I feel like I could lift a truck with all of the energy that I have. I feel amazing. Not only that, but I can focus better. I have better follow-through on things that I start, and I no longer lose steam at any point of the day. I wake up in the morning refreshed because I'm sleeping better. I have acid reflux, and in the two weeks that I've been doing this, it has nearly disappeared. I expect it to be fully gone within the next week or two.

I have also lost eight pounds. That may not seem like a lot, but in two weeks, it's quite a bit. If I wasn't so bloated from the Candibactin, I'm sure my pants would fit better than they already do.

But the biggest thing (and I think this is both because I'm not eating dairy and going through the gut protocol)? I have been taking Singulair for about 3 years to help with my allergies. I say this with no hyperbole: Sometimes this medication, along with my over the counter allergy meds and taking multiple showers a day is what has kept me upright and able to function in this world because my allergies get so bad. I'm not a candidate for allergy shots because mold changes so frequently that I'd have to get them a lot, so I've had to figure out a way to manage, which was Zyrtec and Singulair together every day.

I stopped taking Singulair about a week ago and haven't needed it. I'm not going to stop my other allergy medication just yet, but once we're through walnut season and the ground dries out so there isn't mold everywhere, I'm going to try that too. I'm thinking maybe mid-June I'm going to give it a whirl.

To say that I'm feeling better is an understatement, and I also understand that this is a long process and I have to have patience. But, if I'm seeing this remarkable of a difference already, I'm pretty hopeful.

I'm also taking an iron supplement for the first time in my life (though I have a hunch I've needed it for a long time). Given the number of vitamins I was low on when I had my first batch of blood tests done, my doctor was like "um, I think you have Celiac. This level of vitamin malabsorption, unless you live inside a windowless house and don't eat anything but cheeseburgers, is not normal." So! We'll see how that comes out.

I'm actually excited about my health. I'm learning lots of new things all the time, and doing tons of research on what I need to do to keep up this momentum. I've also called my doctor a few times to ask questions, and I'm just getting a lot of good information, and the changes that I'm making are actually doable, which also feels nice.

The big thing that I'm working on, though, is not doing so much all the time. We're reaching the end of the semester, stress levels are high, and I'm ready for a summer slow-down. I'm not sure if I'll get one, but I'm ready for it. There are ways in which I will force it, though, and they're things that are totally doable, so that's nice too.

Slowly but surely, I'm figuring it out. In the meantime, I'll continue to be careful and adjust.