Hmm. Maybe I should wait to do that until after my surgery.
Hmm. Maybe I should wait to make those plans. My surgery is coming up.
You know what?
Fuck that. Absolutely, unabashedly, fuck that noise.
In other words, NO THANK YOU.
I'm not sure when I decided that I wouldn't wait on things. At first I hesitated because I didn't want to make the decision and then not be able to follow through. And then I hesitated because I had a temper tantrum about not being able to make plans for anything at all ever. And then at some point I just...decided to stop waiting.
This has been a long year and I was tired of waiting for my health to improve before I started working on my bigger goals. I just couldn't wait any longer.
And hoo boy, do I have some bigger goals.
I was talking to someone today about boundary setting and incorporating three words regularly into their vocabulary: No Thank You. In this particular instance, they were feeling parented by a peer, and I introduced them to the "no thank you" of it all. If this person decides that they want to give you advice when you didn't ask for it and didn't want it? No thank you. That literally needs to be your only response.
If someone tries to invade your boundaries? No thank you.
(It's not mean. We just think it is. And, if it feels like shit, then that means we're doing necessary boundary work. It's a good thing.)
I decided to try it with myself. Why do I really want to wait on these things?
Maybe I should...
No thank you.
I'm not doing enough of...
No thank you.
I have to make sure that I don't forget this or that, or the Very Bad Consequence will be...
NOPE. NO THANK YOU.
I'm not doing as much as I should be and I'm going to be totally unprepared to not work for four weeks...
No thank you.
In other news, I think I'm going to have to wear a post-surgery turban. One of my friends suggested that there is funnier headwear, and I agree, so I'm going to try to make it hilarious.
Maybe I'll have people sign it like a cast.
My point? Shit's getting real, kids. On several fronts.
By activating my inner "No Thank You", I've found myself to be ready for every single bit of it.
Maybe I should make sure that all of my electronics are charged so I can bring them to the hospital and make sure that people can get in touch with me.
No thank you. Rob's going to do that and he has already volunteered to do that.
Maybe I should make myself a to-do list for when I get bored while I'm out.
No thank you. Napping will be just fine. You have a team of Very Capable People that can do all of these things, and if they can't, then they can wait. Seriously. THEY CAN WAIT.
Maybe I should make a plan for exercise so that I can start doing that as soon as possible. That marathon ain't going to run itself.
NO THANK YOU. You're getting a treadmill delivered after Christmas, and it will be walking only for at least three months. WALKING ONLY.
Maybe I need to eat better in this time so that I can prepare myself better for surgery.
No thank you. Use this panic time to eat whatever the heck you want. Eat healthy after, which is also what your doctor recommends. And yes, you may go home and make that second box of mac and cheese today. Do it up, friend.
It's amazing how much inviting in No Thank You has also invited in self-care. I'm kind of floored and in absolute love with this idea.
More to come. Stay tuned!
