Dudes, Hashimoto's is no joke.
The way that it works is that the immune system attacks the thyroid. What happens as a result of this is generally being hypothyroid, with an occasional "thyroid hormone flush" where symptoms swing wildly into hyperthyroidism. This is generally an indication of a flare-up, which is caused often by changes in diet that cause inflammation through the body and increased autoimmune response.
The long and short of it is that I'm pretty sure that I'm in the middle of one of those flare-ups right now.
I know that googling symptoms or googling specific conditions is generally not a good idea, but I do it a lot around Hashimoto's because it's relatively unknown to me. I was given the diagnosis and encouraged to do research on it and more, to be mindful of my symptoms in order to figure out what exactly a flare-up looks like for me, with the knowledge that they're different for everyone.
I think I'd been having them a lot before I started getting treated for it. I had been humming along really well taking the thyroid hormone that I've been prescribed and feeling a general increase in energy and mood. It's been pretty good.
Then this past weekend happened.
I chalked it up to a stressful week at work as well as dietary changes since I reincorporated gluten, and this past week (and this current one) are a DOOZY. But I had NO patience, my anxiety level was higher than it has been in years, and while that has reduced, there are other things that have not.
Primarily, I'm hot. Anyone who knows me knows that I am perpetually cold. I wear sweaters until it's in the 80s, and then I graduate to long-sleeved shirts. I wear pants year-round, but if I'm comfortable, I might throw on some capris or cropped pants. Never shorts. I get too cold. Even if it's like 90 degrees outside. However, it's like 30 degrees out right now, and I just walked outside to take out the garbage with no jacket or anything on and I was fine.
Sleep has also been an issue, but I just chalked that up to stress - I was up at 4:30 this morning, wide awake. That NEVER happens. I have also been struggling to get to sleep the past few nights. My energy levels have also been through the roof and I have had a difficult time concentrating - all stress-induced, I thought. Most alarmingly though (and again, this also happens at high levels of stress for me), I have been having pretty significant heart palpitations since Monday. I'll just be sitting there in a meeting and all of a sudden my heart will start fluttering and I'll feel like I'm going to faint.
Nope. Not stress.
I just looked up the common symptoms for thyroid hormone flush, and I have every single one.
So, I'm not taking my thyroid meds today, because that will only make it worse, and calling my doctor to see if I can get in earlier than the appointment I have in April. I'm also going to get some blood drawn in the next day or two and see if my counts have changed. I can all but guarantee that they have.
In the meantime, I'll just keep telling myself that this is only temporary.
Thursday, March 22, 2018
Saturday, March 3, 2018
Finding Joy
So, my vacation is coming to a close.
Sad, but also not. I'm ready to get back to work.
The nice part was that this was a really balanced vacation. Rob and I set about the tidying task before us, and while we got a shit ton done and it resulted in getting well over half of our stuff (yes, you read that right) in its rightful place at goodwill, we also took time to rest and detach from our respective jobs.
In short, I think this might be the best vacation I've ever had.
I've really started to consider this idea of intentionally practicing joy, and I realized that I do it a good chunk of the time. I find joy in my job, I find joy in my non-work life, and I find joy in my relationships. A lot of changes over the past year have happened in my relationships in particular, and I think without these changes, I actually would feel less joyful. I've been more intentional about the time I spend with others, and this whole experience this week has helped my living space match how I have been feeling inside.
Take my wardrobe, for example. I had all of these clothes, some of which I felt indifferent about, others that I just felt like I had to have as staples in my wardrobe, and I realized that I needed exactly none of these things. So you know what I did? I got rid of about 75% of my wardrobe. No exaggeration WHATSOEVER. 75% of my clothes, gone. I started off feeling pretty nervous, but by the end, I looked at my clothes, and every single item I kept are items that I genuinely love. Not a single placeholder t-shirt to be found. Not a single sweater that I keep "just in case I need something to keep me warm". Only clothes that make me feel good to be wearing them, and only clothes that fit exactly how I want them to.
I also had the opportunity to do some decluttering of other stuff, like my electronics, and I found our wedding and honeymoon pictures. It's so fun to look back on those times and have them all in one place (now) where we can access them anytime we want.
I also unloaded (or will be unloading tomorrow) something huge - I'm submitting my article to its first publication tomorrow. This two and a half-year labor of love, and I have a publishable article. I'm so effing excited about this that I could puke. Even if it doesn't get accepted (which doesn't entirely feel likely, because in discussing it with the editor of the publication at a conference last year, he was more excited about it than I was at that point because I had just started writing), I still got this big huge thing done. I have a few other publications that I can submit to in case it doesn't get accepted, but because the counseling field has this annoying (but understandable) ethical code that says that we can only submit to one publication at a time, I will hit the submit button tomorrow and (hopefully) shove it to the back of my brain for three months.
In the same vein, you know what will bring me joy? If I can figure out how to get my signature in a word document. As soon as I have that part done, it's goin' in.
Fingers crossed! :)
Sad, but also not. I'm ready to get back to work.
The nice part was that this was a really balanced vacation. Rob and I set about the tidying task before us, and while we got a shit ton done and it resulted in getting well over half of our stuff (yes, you read that right) in its rightful place at goodwill, we also took time to rest and detach from our respective jobs.
In short, I think this might be the best vacation I've ever had.
I've really started to consider this idea of intentionally practicing joy, and I realized that I do it a good chunk of the time. I find joy in my job, I find joy in my non-work life, and I find joy in my relationships. A lot of changes over the past year have happened in my relationships in particular, and I think without these changes, I actually would feel less joyful. I've been more intentional about the time I spend with others, and this whole experience this week has helped my living space match how I have been feeling inside.
Take my wardrobe, for example. I had all of these clothes, some of which I felt indifferent about, others that I just felt like I had to have as staples in my wardrobe, and I realized that I needed exactly none of these things. So you know what I did? I got rid of about 75% of my wardrobe. No exaggeration WHATSOEVER. 75% of my clothes, gone. I started off feeling pretty nervous, but by the end, I looked at my clothes, and every single item I kept are items that I genuinely love. Not a single placeholder t-shirt to be found. Not a single sweater that I keep "just in case I need something to keep me warm". Only clothes that make me feel good to be wearing them, and only clothes that fit exactly how I want them to.
I also had the opportunity to do some decluttering of other stuff, like my electronics, and I found our wedding and honeymoon pictures. It's so fun to look back on those times and have them all in one place (now) where we can access them anytime we want.
I also unloaded (or will be unloading tomorrow) something huge - I'm submitting my article to its first publication tomorrow. This two and a half-year labor of love, and I have a publishable article. I'm so effing excited about this that I could puke. Even if it doesn't get accepted (which doesn't entirely feel likely, because in discussing it with the editor of the publication at a conference last year, he was more excited about it than I was at that point because I had just started writing), I still got this big huge thing done. I have a few other publications that I can submit to in case it doesn't get accepted, but because the counseling field has this annoying (but understandable) ethical code that says that we can only submit to one publication at a time, I will hit the submit button tomorrow and (hopefully) shove it to the back of my brain for three months.
In the same vein, you know what will bring me joy? If I can figure out how to get my signature in a word document. As soon as I have that part done, it's goin' in.
Fingers crossed! :)
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